The Beauty School Drop Out

I must admit it.  Here, as publically as possible: I'm a beauty school drop out. 

This book~

The Word

   Bread

  Water

Sword

  Mirror

 

~is the tool in His beauty school, where He labors to make me not me.  To tug and pull out the tangled mess.  To purify clogged pores.  To straighten the twisted.  To burn away the unwanted weight.  To open sealed eyes, closed ears.  To pump blood into dead hearts.

Here, He doesn't brush on a cosmetic solution, creating a false, temporary beauty.  He does the real work, the hard work we want to avoid.  The work that makes us, honestly, run for the ease of blush and hair color.

So, why do I drop out continually?  Push the Word aside and grab for others through my day?  Allow my failures at memorization to create a bondage from returning, trying again and again and again?

Could it be that I really don't understand after 35 years as His what His school really offers me?

But, I read about its importance anew.  And I am challenged and enlivened as I read, am reminded that the goal really is about wanting Him more.  Falling in love.  Finding Him the most satisfying joy.  And I can see now that as one that belongs to Him it isn't so much about pointing out my flaws and imperfections and lack of measuring up (though at times there is some of that) but training me to see His beauty.  And maybe something even more amazing.

He invites me to sit in the chair then pumps it high for me to see and turns me to face the mirror.  And there I can ever so faintly begin to see the reflection.